Stoning Post

I'm having a very serious motivation crisis

i shall not look into the mirror for 2 weeks

i shall not look into the mirror for 2 weeks

i shall not look into the mirror for 2 weeks

i shall not look into the mirror for 2 weeks

i shall not look into the mirror for 2 weeks

i shall not look into the mirror for 2 weeks

i shall not look into the mirror for 2 weeks

i shall not look into the mirror for 2 weeks

i shall not look into the mirror for 2 weeks

i shall not look into the mirror for 2 weeks

i shall not look into the mirror for 2 weeks

and no i didn't cut and paste the above.

curing one disorder with another.

I'm quite sure now that i'm suffering from a certain degree of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

zzz

=(

3rd week into the sem, and this sem was supposed to be busier than last sem. At least that's how ppl ard me felt. BUT some how I have been watching quite a bit of tv lately lol. Been pondering a lot over the weekend (and as a result didn't do much) over how hard I shd be working this sem. How hard as in shd I aim for the 2nd upper again? or laid back a bit and comfortably maintain my 2nd lower?

And so I reviewed my past semester's GPA:

Sem 1: 3.95

Sem 2: 3.93

Sem 3: 3.81

Sem 4: 3.94

lol.

4 semester. Still struggling ard the 3.9 something mark. And so far the best sem that i had was sem 4, the sem in which I have decided tat getting a second upper is not happening for me. Yet when it's about time to give up, there's light at the end of the tunnel again.

Wat a joke.

Getting the results last sem was supposed to be a morale booster. but for wat? why didn't it happened earlier when my goal was still clear and i still know what i want and wat to work hard for. 3 sems of disappointment, and last sem may well turn out to be a false hope. Even if i did manage to achieve 4.0 this sem, it may slip away again next sem. Too much uncertainty, especially with the projects this sem and the technical electives that i eventually have to take.

expectations expectations expectations.

They are a double edged swords that can motivate u to work like hell, or crash ur morale so hard that u feel like u r in hell.

There are stuff that i wanna accomplish this sem. Non-acad stuff. Wanna put more effort into my guitar, learn a bit of archery, hang out more with diff groups of friends and spend more time with her, get my tutee to pass his N lvl etc etc. But there's still only 24 hrs each day. 7 days a week. 365.25 days a year.

 Priority have to be set soon. Time is tickling away. 

was a major screw up.

My work was supposed to start on perhaps sunday and last all the way until thursdays. Last friday I was reassigned to the india delegates who last min decided to come, and last a result of that I spent the entire friday night buying formal clothings due to such a short notice. Then on sat nite the delegates last min decided not to come. So as a result i have to wait for re-assignment, for the freaking THIRD TIME. WTF is this. It's half way thru the event and I'm still not involved. dotz. I wun mind if I had stuffs to do, but my laptop is still repairing zzz. my guitar is not at hm today as well. zzz.

 so i can't do much but zzz.

I actually intended to update the blog after my exams results are out. But hav been busy playing dota and busy sleeping, and thus it's only until now that I find myself sitting infront of my laptop to do some self-reflection.

Well holiday so far has been slack. Really really slack. Not that i like slacking at home, I'm just not able to go find a job and work my guts out. And now that I'm able to work my guts out, there's not much job lobang out there anymore lol. And so I ended up slacking. And procrastinating certain stuff such as updating my blog, practising the guitar and packing my field pack for mob-manning. And b4 u know it, half the holiday is gone. GONE. damn i could have achieve something during the past 1.5 months if not for the $%#!&@ crap. And it's not even fully heal yet argh. Haven't been exercising for a month as well cos i'm not too sure whether i shd be doing it. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Come to think of it, i haven't been drinking any alcohol for the past 1 month as well. ZZZZZZZ.

hmmmmmm.

well hopefully, the 3 to 5 days liaision officer work for the internation water week convention next week is interesting. Otherwise it's gg to be quite a waste of time since i'm not gg to earn much out of it. The pay will most prob only cover my expenses of formal wear since i dun have much at hm now lol.

and let's see wat else i can blog abt.......

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

ok nthing much.

oh lastly, my reflection on my academic performance for the sem 4:

 =D lol. gd. in fact it's the best sem since i entered uni. Could have been better, but it's gd enuff for now. At least it totally pull my grades back to where it started off. Sem 3 was a total disaster, so cui-ed that looks like it's just gg to keep on dropping. But the effort spent in sem 4 are not wasted. I supposed i have to thx my lecture khakis for it. Seems like mugging tog as a group really pays off lol. Not to mentioned that it's more fun this way. So much so that i was hoping the exams dun end so soon lol.

oh well. 4 more sem to go. need to work even harder haha >.<  

well actually it's been slightly almost 2 weeks after my last paper, and everyday is just gathering, dota, slp, dating, eating, bball-ing, dota, slp, and so on and on and on and on and on. Squeeze in some time to prac a bit of guitar, but time is so limited since i'm slping almost 12 hrs a day and can't seen to drag myself up every morning. Pretty much an aimless life. Have to stop doing this soon ow my whole holiday will be wasted b4 i knew it lol. Most prob shd find a job and keep myself busy in june so that weekends will seem more precious to me. Oh well, still got to wait till aft friday b4 i decide wat to do for the coming 2 weeks. And it's such an irony that i get to have more time watching tv when i'm having my exams, whereas now i haven't even watch a single min of CSI miami since exam ended.

And b4 i knew it, next friday is the date of release of the results. =S.

oh well. shd slp and try to wake up earlier tml lol

nitez everyone~! sweet dreamz

and the reason why i always look like i'm mugging is because i can get stuck at 2 questions for one entire day...

To seek. To learn. To think. To understand. To solve. To master.